The Lord provides in sweet little ways sometimes! I had the first appointment with my Endocrinologist today. I was praying beforehand that he would be someone I liked and would be willing to answer my questions since he was going to be my doctor for the long haul. He was HILARIOUS! The Lord answered my prayers in abundance! The appt. lasted about 1 1/2 and we were laughing pretty much the entire time! I don't think I have ever encountered a doctor like that. He had an amazingly funny dry sense of humor and he really lifted our spirits. He even made comments about my painted green toenails!
My treatment really begins on May 20th. I start with a blood test to see what my thyroid levels are. Once I reach 50, then I can have the radioactive iodine treatment. Usually it takes a month after I stop the thyroid medication for the levels to increase. After the treatment, I will have a full body scan to see where the iodine went, and what it killed.
We are looking to have the treatment somewhere around June 20 or so. There are a lot of things we have to figure out regarding that. I have to be away from the kids for a week! The radiation, which I have to have administered in GR because Zeeland doesn't have the license to give that much radiation, is very harmful for kids. I have to be away from other adults for 3 days. I won't be able to kiss Shawn..:(
I have to be on a special diet for 2 weeks prior to the treatment which means I can't eat any food with iodine in it. The body has to be completely depleted of iodine so that way when the radioactive iodine gets in there, it goes right to the cancer cells and kills them.
Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for us. I have felt the mighty hand of God surrounding us throughout this whole thing. It has been so amazing to experience. PLEASE don't stop!
A few requests to keep putting at the feet of Jesus:
For Me: A hard thing during the treatment will be being away from the kids for a week. Pray that they will understand why I have to go away that long. Pray that I keep focusing on the positive and not sink into a pit.
For Shawn: That his heart would be able to be a school when he is there and that he would have the motivation to finish the school year strongly.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
WAIT
This word keeps coming to mind many times throughout my days. I know I am going to be molded in many ways and one of the biggest ones is learning how to be patient and faithful in the waiting.
My surgery went very well last Thursday. It was supposed to last about 3 hours but only lasted 1 1/2 hours. My ENT is very efficient apparently! He took out the entire thyroid as well as a lymph node that looked suspicious. Before I went in to surgery the hospital chaplain came in to pray with us. She was about 85 or 90 years old! Just the sweetest thing and very encouraging. As they were wheeling me down she even wiped the tears from my eyes.
I stayed only one night in the hospital which seems very short to me! I was supposed to get a roommate but did not until I was ready to leave on Friday. So that was good motivation to leave! Honestly, I think sharing rooms is dumb! It seems like the obvious thing would be lack of privacy and quiet. I also would have had to walk down the hall to the shower! Is this a college dorm??!! And why would they want 2 sick people to share a bathroom? Anyway....that's over and it was reiterated to me that I love Zeeland hospital which has private rooms! I also discovered that I love the older more experienced nurses. They are much more nurturing and caring about what your needs are.
After getting home I was able to have a few days of complete rest and quiet. Shawn's parents took care of Caleb on Thursday and they took Adrianna for the weekend. My sister Jen took Eliza from Wed.-Sunday, and then my mom had her until Monday. My mom also had Caleb from Friday until Monday. Amber helped out with school pickup and drop off also. It was so nice! I was so glad I didn't' have to worry about the kids. Thank you so much to all who helped with kid care! I really did enjoy my quiet and being able to start the recovery resting like I'm supposed too!
I had to start off with soft foods and I am still keeping to that somewhat. The meals we have been receiving have been AMAZING! I can't even tell you how helpful it is to know I don't have to do grocery shopping or cook. I am supposed to rest for about 2 weeks at least and not lift anything until the incision is healed a bit more. That means no lifting Caleb! Shawn took off this entire week of school which has been so great. He has to use his sick days but he is also covered under the Family Medical Leave Act. I think he could take up to 6 weeks if needed.
I saw the doctor today for my post-op visit. I got the stitches out and so far everything is healing nicely. It is very sore still and I'm still lovin me some pain meds! He told me the cancer was papillary and that it was in the lymph node they removed. I guess there were 2 tumors on the right side of the thyroid and because of that, they took out the entire thing. I asked him if they could tell how long it had been there but he said there is no way of knowing. There is a chance it could come back but I am not going to focus on that right now. The next step is to see the Endocrinologist for a consultation and begin the treatment. I think they first figure out if there are any other cancer cells in my body, where they are, and how much. They they can figure out how much radiation to give me. The radiation is a one time treatment in the form of a pill. When I take it, I have to be away from the kids for at least 2 days and have limited adult contact. This treatment will kill any cells left around the surgical site and any other in my body. After this treatment, I will have to go back to get my thyroid regulated and also see if the treatment was effective. If it is, then I will have to go back every couple of months for the 1st year, then every 3-4 months the 2nd year, every 6 months the 3rd year, and then once a year after that. If it wasn't effective, then I would either have it again or they would take out the lymph nodes. I'm definitely praying they don't have to go back in! I can't even imagine that right now!
So we wait.....we wait for doctor's appt.'s, we wait for results, we wait for treatment.
We wait upon the Lord!
I think I still feel like this is happening to someone else. We have only known for about 3 weeks and because it was so fast, I just went through the motions and did what everyone told me to do. After today's appt., I am realizing the length and depth this journey is starting to be. I hope I can get past the point where it is not all consuming and I can see the world around be through a clear lens and not a cloudy one like it is right now.
I am amazed by the prayers from hundreds of people, and some I don't' even know! My aunt sent me this jar filled with memory verses. I can pick out one each day or 20 each day! I am so thankful for that. I just need to keep surrounding myself with God and His words.
Please keep praying.
Here are some specific requests:
1. That I would stay out of a pit and keep my eyes on Christ. I don't want my "what-if's" to consume me!
2. That the doctors would read the results accurately and know what the treatment should be.
3. That Shawn would just be a patient and loving daddy and know how to care for us.
4. That the kids would not be anxious and if they are scared, they would know how to express it.
We are so thankful for all you dear friends who show love to us daily!
My surgery went very well last Thursday. It was supposed to last about 3 hours but only lasted 1 1/2 hours. My ENT is very efficient apparently! He took out the entire thyroid as well as a lymph node that looked suspicious. Before I went in to surgery the hospital chaplain came in to pray with us. She was about 85 or 90 years old! Just the sweetest thing and very encouraging. As they were wheeling me down she even wiped the tears from my eyes.
I stayed only one night in the hospital which seems very short to me! I was supposed to get a roommate but did not until I was ready to leave on Friday. So that was good motivation to leave! Honestly, I think sharing rooms is dumb! It seems like the obvious thing would be lack of privacy and quiet. I also would have had to walk down the hall to the shower! Is this a college dorm??!! And why would they want 2 sick people to share a bathroom? Anyway....that's over and it was reiterated to me that I love Zeeland hospital which has private rooms! I also discovered that I love the older more experienced nurses. They are much more nurturing and caring about what your needs are.
After getting home I was able to have a few days of complete rest and quiet. Shawn's parents took care of Caleb on Thursday and they took Adrianna for the weekend. My sister Jen took Eliza from Wed.-Sunday, and then my mom had her until Monday. My mom also had Caleb from Friday until Monday. Amber helped out with school pickup and drop off also. It was so nice! I was so glad I didn't' have to worry about the kids. Thank you so much to all who helped with kid care! I really did enjoy my quiet and being able to start the recovery resting like I'm supposed too!
I had to start off with soft foods and I am still keeping to that somewhat. The meals we have been receiving have been AMAZING! I can't even tell you how helpful it is to know I don't have to do grocery shopping or cook. I am supposed to rest for about 2 weeks at least and not lift anything until the incision is healed a bit more. That means no lifting Caleb! Shawn took off this entire week of school which has been so great. He has to use his sick days but he is also covered under the Family Medical Leave Act. I think he could take up to 6 weeks if needed.
I saw the doctor today for my post-op visit. I got the stitches out and so far everything is healing nicely. It is very sore still and I'm still lovin me some pain meds! He told me the cancer was papillary and that it was in the lymph node they removed. I guess there were 2 tumors on the right side of the thyroid and because of that, they took out the entire thing. I asked him if they could tell how long it had been there but he said there is no way of knowing. There is a chance it could come back but I am not going to focus on that right now. The next step is to see the Endocrinologist for a consultation and begin the treatment. I think they first figure out if there are any other cancer cells in my body, where they are, and how much. They they can figure out how much radiation to give me. The radiation is a one time treatment in the form of a pill. When I take it, I have to be away from the kids for at least 2 days and have limited adult contact. This treatment will kill any cells left around the surgical site and any other in my body. After this treatment, I will have to go back to get my thyroid regulated and also see if the treatment was effective. If it is, then I will have to go back every couple of months for the 1st year, then every 3-4 months the 2nd year, every 6 months the 3rd year, and then once a year after that. If it wasn't effective, then I would either have it again or they would take out the lymph nodes. I'm definitely praying they don't have to go back in! I can't even imagine that right now!
So we wait.....we wait for doctor's appt.'s, we wait for results, we wait for treatment.
We wait upon the Lord!
I think I still feel like this is happening to someone else. We have only known for about 3 weeks and because it was so fast, I just went through the motions and did what everyone told me to do. After today's appt., I am realizing the length and depth this journey is starting to be. I hope I can get past the point where it is not all consuming and I can see the world around be through a clear lens and not a cloudy one like it is right now.
I am amazed by the prayers from hundreds of people, and some I don't' even know! My aunt sent me this jar filled with memory verses. I can pick out one each day or 20 each day! I am so thankful for that. I just need to keep surrounding myself with God and His words.
Please keep praying.
Here are some specific requests:
1. That I would stay out of a pit and keep my eyes on Christ. I don't want my "what-if's" to consume me!
2. That the doctors would read the results accurately and know what the treatment should be.
3. That Shawn would just be a patient and loving daddy and know how to care for us.
4. That the kids would not be anxious and if they are scared, they would know how to express it.
We are so thankful for all you dear friends who show love to us daily!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Each step of Faith
Thursday is fast approaching and honestly I'm still feeling kind of numb. I still feel like this is happening to someone else and I'm on the outside looking in. I asked Shawn if we could just drive by the hospital on Thursday and go on vacation instead! But no... we have to face this..it is inevitable...it has to be done. As I am surrounding myself with God's word and encouragement from others I am reminded of the truth of what God has said to me. He is there, He is my provider, He is my healer, He is my sanctuary. I definitely do not always "feel" the emotion of it, but I know it to be true. I keep reading. I keep believing that He is holding me and taking away my fear.
I am thankful the outcome is optimistic but I still have to travel the journey. I still have to walk each step and wait. I still will see God's hand on every step and in every detail. That is what I am holding on to as I anticipate what is going to happen. He is with me abundantly!
I am also thankful that the results from the Mayo clinic were negative! It is the not the cancer that is in the lymph nodes!
A few prayer requests:
For me that I will continue to hold to God's word and His truth, not my own. That the surgery would go well and the doctor would know exactly what to do. That I would be able to rest in God's healing hands. And that I would not be too overwhelmed with missing the kids.
For Shawn: That he would be able to focus at work and not be overwhelmed with all the things that have to be done. That he would have a peace overwhelm him that wherever he is during a particular day is exactly where God wants him.
For the Kids: That they would not be anxious or scared about what is going on, and that they would feel God's love surround them.
Thanks so much for your prayers and love. We will try to update here as soon as we know anything else.
I am thankful the outcome is optimistic but I still have to travel the journey. I still have to walk each step and wait. I still will see God's hand on every step and in every detail. That is what I am holding on to as I anticipate what is going to happen. He is with me abundantly!
I am also thankful that the results from the Mayo clinic were negative! It is the not the cancer that is in the lymph nodes!
A few prayer requests:
For me that I will continue to hold to God's word and His truth, not my own. That the surgery would go well and the doctor would know exactly what to do. That I would be able to rest in God's healing hands. And that I would not be too overwhelmed with missing the kids.
For Shawn: That he would be able to focus at work and not be overwhelmed with all the things that have to be done. That he would have a peace overwhelm him that wherever he is during a particular day is exactly where God wants him.
For the Kids: That they would not be anxious or scared about what is going on, and that they would feel God's love surround them.
Thanks so much for your prayers and love. We will try to update here as soon as we know anything else.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Psalm 42
"As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the LIVING God; When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night, While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God, With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?
HOPE in God, for I shall again praise Him, for the help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me; Therefore I remember You from the land of Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night. A prayer to the God of my life!
I will say to God my rock, "Why have you forgotten me?" Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?". Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God."
My tears have been my food day and night, While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God, With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me?
HOPE in God, for I shall again praise Him, for the help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me; Therefore I remember You from the land of Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night. A prayer to the God of my life!
I will say to God my rock, "Why have you forgotten me?" Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, While they say to me all day long, "Where is your God?". Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God."
Thursday, April 8, 2010
A Single-Minded Worship
I have been doing a Bible study called "He speaks to Me" by Priscilla Shirer. It has been exactly what I have needed in this journey God is taking me on. Today I felt particularly called to open His word. I felt empty and anxious until I sat down to see what God wanted to tell me.
This past week the lesson was called "A single-minded worship". The lesson was using the story of Moses to teach about God's glory. A few things the author focused on:
1. God's glory is all around us, even in the desert places.
2. God's glory exceeds comprehension.
3. God' glory is reserved for only One.
4. God's glory demands a response.
5. God's glory discovers us where we are.
When I think of the passage in Exodus when Moses sees the burning bush, do you know what he did first? He went over to it! That reminded me that when we are faced with anything, we MUST first look to God. We need to come away from whatever we are doing and delight in Him.
The 2nd thing Moses did was humble himself by taking off his sandals. Granted, God told him to, but he obeyed. He admitted that he was unclean and not worthy.
The 3rd thing he did was hide his face. At first I thought Moses was afraid of God. Then I realized that Moses was in reverence and awe of God.
That is one of my prayers during this time of having cancer. That I would look to God first. And continually look at Him. That I would humble myself and realize that I am not worthy of His grace and mercy, but then accept His grace and mercy and be in awe of what He is going to do.
God's glory demands a response. I am praying that God's glory would be evident in my life and that I would respond in the way He would want me to.
I also read these verses today:
Exodus 33:19-23
"And the Lord said, " I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, "he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." The the Lord said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."
God controlled how much of His glory he revealed to Moses. Just exactly what He needed. It doesn't matter what we think we need from God, He knows what is best for us.
Right now, I think I need God's healing touch and He still can reveal that to me. But, he may decide to just continue to reveal His peace in the midst of this. Either way, God's glory is going to shine through!
This past week the lesson was called "A single-minded worship". The lesson was using the story of Moses to teach about God's glory. A few things the author focused on:
1. God's glory is all around us, even in the desert places.
2. God's glory exceeds comprehension.
3. God' glory is reserved for only One.
4. God's glory demands a response.
5. God's glory discovers us where we are.
When I think of the passage in Exodus when Moses sees the burning bush, do you know what he did first? He went over to it! That reminded me that when we are faced with anything, we MUST first look to God. We need to come away from whatever we are doing and delight in Him.
The 2nd thing Moses did was humble himself by taking off his sandals. Granted, God told him to, but he obeyed. He admitted that he was unclean and not worthy.
The 3rd thing he did was hide his face. At first I thought Moses was afraid of God. Then I realized that Moses was in reverence and awe of God.
That is one of my prayers during this time of having cancer. That I would look to God first. And continually look at Him. That I would humble myself and realize that I am not worthy of His grace and mercy, but then accept His grace and mercy and be in awe of what He is going to do.
God's glory demands a response. I am praying that God's glory would be evident in my life and that I would respond in the way He would want me to.
I also read these verses today:
Exodus 33:19-23
"And the Lord said, " I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, "he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." The the Lord said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."
God controlled how much of His glory he revealed to Moses. Just exactly what He needed. It doesn't matter what we think we need from God, He knows what is best for us.
Right now, I think I need God's healing touch and He still can reveal that to me. But, he may decide to just continue to reveal His peace in the midst of this. Either way, God's glory is going to shine through!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Fun Day!
We had a great day celebrating Adrianna's Birthday! We did make it to the mall to get her ears pierced! She was very brave in wanting to get it done even though she knew it was going to hurt. They were able to do both ears at once and she did cry but the sucker and sticker afterwards made it better! They gave her a teddy bear to hold and she did hold my hand through it. We also took her to get her haircut at a "real" salon! I had a few coupons for Auntie Anne's pretzels so we indulged in that before Daddy and her rode the carousel.
We shopped a little bit and we even found her a dress for $2.54 at Kohl's! Thank you for clearance and Kohl's cash! Thank you to my mom for watching Eliza and Caleb so we could take her out!
She requested pizza for dinner so we had that along with her Barbie cake for dessert.
What a truly fun day! I can still hardly believe she is 6....
Happy 6th Birthday Adrianna!
Happy Birthday to my Sweet Girl! This was our 1st moment together on April 6th, 2004. She was born at 12:45pm at Zeeland Community Hospital.
What an incredible answer to prayer she was on that day!
Little bundle at 13 months!
So smiley at 17 months!
There are so many things I love about Adrianna! She has such a tender heart and is willing to help out anyone she sees. It amazes me how grown up she is becoming. She wants to help me do everything! From flipping pancakes on the griddle to taking care of Caleb, she definitely is becoming a little lady!
She loves school and seems to make friends easily. I see her confidence growing as she walks into school all by herself. I am so proud of her! She is really trying to learn how to read and sound out things.
She still LOVES movies and computer games but she is also learning how to ride her bike without training wheels.
I see God working in her life as her conscience starts to emerge and she is really starting to care about others. She is very much like me in that fact that she loves to organize things and figure out how to make it better. I see myself in her so much that it's scary sometimes!
She loves to be affirmed in the things she does by herself and I pray she can continue to become a confident and assured young lady!
Today we are taking her to get her ears pierced! I told her she could have them when she could help take care of them herself. She also wanted a haircut!
I also asked her what she wanted for her birthday dinner and she wants pizza! Easy for me!
So....I love you sweet pea! I love being your mommy and I pray I have many more years of seeing you grow in God's love and grace!
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