A Distracted Heart

A Prayer for the Journey

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
but give me powers equal to my tasks,
for I want to be stretched by things too great for me.
I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,
but I shall need your help for the growing.

E. Stanley Jones

This is a quote that is at the end of the book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. I just finished reading it and it definitely challenged me in many ways! The quote sums up my life right now. I'm feeling like many things are too great for me and I would not survive if I didn't have the Holy Spirit's power! I think I could type all day about the things the Lord has been teaching me but I don't think I could even put half of it into words. I am definitely in a growing season and I am trying to figure out what my purpose is supposed to be. My primary focus is of course my 3 precious gifts from God as well as my amazing hubby. I am trying to figure out how God's design for my life can be used in how I teach and raise my kids, and how I can be a better wife. Most days I fail miserably!

I was trying to think of something that stood out to me from the book that describes how I am feeling. I can across the section on "A Distracted Heart". That is definitely me! The premise of the book is comparing Mary and Martha when Jesus came to visit their home. Mary was content to sit at the feet of her Savior, soak Him in, and give every part of herself to Him. Right down to the most expensive thing she owned, the perfume she poured over his feet.
Martha really wanted to sit there, her heart was there, but she was too compelled to get things done and serve her guests. While there is nothing wrong with that, sometimes Jesus calls us to just sit. Fix our eyes on Him and soak in all He wants to say to us. I am finding that I am more like Martha. I have so many things going through my mind that I can't stop long enough to sit and listen.

Here are a few things that hit me over the head as I was reading:
"When Jesus met Martha that day in Bethany, she was "distracted". That's where Satan usually begins. He knows if we're overly worried and bogged down by duties, chances are good our hearts will not hear the Savior's call to come."
Martha has so many responsibilities hanging over her head it was like all her expectations were dragging behind her like a ball and chain. Even though I might have the best motives, my heart can be pulled away from doing things "unto the Lord". I get blinded by the tasks and I don't see the most important needs right in front of me.

Discouragement always seeps into my heart as I am going through a season of intense distraction. I find myself doubting and questioning every thing I say, everything everyone else says, and everything I do. While the Lord has delivered me from the pit of depression, Satan likes to still throw it back and me and try and get me to go back to that pit.

The author gives these suggestions for getting out of discouragement.
1. Allow for rest stops.--Take a nap or go to bed earlier
2. Get a new point of view---Ask God to help you see his perspective on your situation.
3. Have patience---Even if things don't go as you planned, God is at work and if you seek him, His glory will be revealed.
4.Mingle---Get out of the house and visit some friends!
5. Set the timer---Set it for 10 min. and have a good cry. After that, make the decision to surrender the situation to the Lord and move on!

I know this will be a daily struggle for me, but there is hope! This verse is Deuteronomy gives me great encouragement!
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

The Hunt for the McDonald's card leads to answered prayer!

My mom's good friend Rose has blessed our family many times with McDonald's gift cards. Thank you Rose! This past Christmas she gave each of the kid's one. Eliza LOVES going there and she also loves holding on to the card. I let her have this particular card with the thought that I needed to get it from her before she loses it. I forgot to do that and sure enough, she lost it. We looked in every possible crevice for it...in the books, under the beds, in every container, etc... We kept asking her where she put and she would say a different place every time! There are so many places a 2 year old could put things!
At that time, which is December mind you, we sat down and prayed that the Lord would show us where it was. I kept praying periodically for it but had no answer. Each time I cleaned the girl's room I looked for it.

Today I was changing the sheets of Adrianna's bed, which is a loft (and a pain in the rear to change I must say!). Something prompted me to lift up the mattress to look for it. And low and behold it was there! It was actually between the frame and the mattress on the front side of the bed. When I had looked for it in December I look on the side closest to the wall!
After the initial excitement of finding it I asked the girls if they remembered praying for this card a long time ago. They remembered and then I pointed out that sometimes God answers our prayers right away and sometimes we have to wait for the answer.
It is such a simple thing, but in our little world it was huge! It was a very tangible reminder that God always answers, just in His timing, and in His way. I'm glad I have this example to point out to the girls whenever we wonder if God is going to answer!

You can imagine how excited Eliza was to know we would go to McDonald's soon! She prays for it at every meal and before bed every night! I think she even asks to go there at least 3x a day!

I never knew how going to McDonald's could remind me of God answering prayers!

Ready for Kindergarten

We had Parent/Teacher conferences today for Adrianna and it was great! Her teacher said she was ready for Kindergarten which only re-affirmed in our minds what we had already thought. She is doing great with her letters and all of the other basic things she needs to know.
She does have a little trouble sharing(duh). I guess a lot of the kids in her class are firstborn so that explains why they all want to be in charge and boss everyone else around! Her teacher said she is also somewhat of a perfectionist...Oh... I was praying my children wouldn't get that from me but I guess she did. Overall she is becoming more confident and seems to really like school. She still looks forward to it and adores her teachers.

I was trying to do some school time with her before we left this afternoon and she was acting like the things we just spent a half hour discussing where completely new and she had never heard of them before! That really frustrates me when I ask her a question about whatever it is we are discussing and she says "I don't know". After she continually was saying this I said it was time to be done for today. I didn't' want to get mad at her and make it a negative experience. She got upset and said "Wait mommy, can be try again? I'm ready to focus now". I guess she must hear that at school! I had to hold back my laughter for a few minutes before I could answer her!

Can We Say Boy!!!

All about my Mommy

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
Adrianna: You love me
Eliza: Go to McDonald's

2. What makes Mommy happy?
Adrianna: Hugging
Eliza: a piano

3. What makes Mommy sad?
A: When people are mean
E: When I throw toys at you

4. How does your Mommy make you laugh?
A: When you smile at me
E: When you are funny

5. What was your Mommy like as a child?
A: like Barbies

6. How old is your Mommy?
A: I don't know...1..2..3..4..5...6...7....8...9...10..11...oh 15!
E: Um...you 4, I'm 2

7. How tall is your Mommy?
A: Big
E: Big like me

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
A: Hug
E: Play with each other

9. What does your Mommy do when you're not around?
A: Go to sleep


10. If your Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
A: Love

11. What is your Mommy really good at?
A: the computer
E: at McDonald's

12. What is your Mommy not very good at?
A: Running--I would agree with that:)
E: Spaghetti...(this answer is because she is looking at a picture of Lady and the Tramp eating spaghetti)

13. What does your Mommy do for her job?
A: I don't know


14. What is your Mommy’s favorite food?
A: Sandwiches
E: Spaghetti

15. What makes you proud of your Mommy?
A: I don't know

16. If your Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
A: Dorothy
E: I don't know

17. What do you and your Mommy do together?
A: School time
E: I don't know

18. How are you and your Mommy the same?
A: Our hair is both brown..I think that's all
E: I don't know

19. How are you and your Mommy different?
A: We are not different, we have the same hair and the same eyes so we are kind of the same, but not the same clothes
E: I'm smart

20. How do you know your Mommy loves you?
A: Because you have a heart and I just know


21. What does your Mommy like most about your daddy?
A: Loving him and he goes to work
E: He's a goofy goof ball

22. Where is your Mommy's favorite place to go?
A: McDonald's
E: McDonald's ( do we sense a pattern here?)

23: What is Mommy's favorite thing to drink?
A: Water (Hmm....apparently she does not see my constant consumption of diet coke and coffee!)
E: Apple juice

24: What is Mommy's favorite thing to do outside?
A: Ride your bike....(haven't done this in years!)

A few of my favorite sounds

The very first cry of each of my children when they came out into the world.

The contented sigh of my sweet little boy.

The laughter of complete happiness.

The fresh spring wind whistling through the trees.

Quiet in the afternoons when all the children are resting.

When the girls say "love you mama"

God is with us

There has been some uncertainty lately about Shawn's job. The district is moving things around and we are waiting to hear some confirmation on some things. It has been a very frustrating day because of the heaviness of my spirit, Eliza peeing all over the place, and just the normal day to day things. As I was feeding Caleb I was just about to have a good cry when Adrianna said, "Are you going to cry? It looks like you are going to cry". We have been trying to teach her that it is okay to feel sad, frustrated, etc...but we just have to learn how to deal with those emotions. I told her I was feeling scared because we don't know what is going to happen with certain things that mommy and daddy have to deal with, but that she did not need to feel scared. She looked at me with the sweetest look on her face, pushed the hair back from my eyes and said "I'm not scared and you don't need to be, God is with us".

Oh the precious heart of a child!

Messy House

Come in, but don't expect to find
All dishes done, all floors ashine.
Observe the crumbs and toys galore.
The smudgy prints upon the door.
The little ones we shelter here
Don't thrive on a spotless atmosphere.
They're more inclined to disarray
And carefree even messy play.
Their needs are great, their patience small.
All day I'm at their beck and call.
It's Mommy come! Mommy see!
Wiggly worms and red scraped knee.
Painted pictures, blocks piled high.
My floors unshined, the days go by.
Some future day they'll flee this nest,
And I at last will have a rest!
Now you tell me which matters more,
A happy child or a polished floor?

...Author Unknown

Grandpa Bernie's Funeral

Shawn's grandpa passed away this past week. We had his funeral on Saturday in Kaleva, Michigan. It was actually an amazing day despite the sadness of it. We had such a great time with family.

We left at 8 am to drive 3 hours to Kaleva. It ended up taking almost 4 since we missed our turn and almost took a tour of Traverse City. I didn't realize it was so close to us! Anyway...we had lunch together and then headed over to the funeral home. Mind you the kids had already been sitting for 3 1/2 hours. They were amazing! They sat so still and quiet for the service! I played prelude music on the piano, which I love doing, and Shawn and I played a few special numbers throughout the service. Shawn played a beautiful tribute of TAPS at the end also. It was a very meaningful service.
I didn't know Grandpa that well, but what I do know of him was that he loved his family very much and he was always very generous. We rejoice that he is with our Heavenly Father dancing around strong and healthy!

I do have a somewhat funny story to share though! At the end of the service I took Adrianna up to look at the pictures and flowers. Grandpa was cremated so his urn was sitting there amidst the flowers. Adrianna walked up to it and tried to open it. I calmly told her that we shouldn't touch it because Grandpa's ashes were in there. Okay..wrong choice of words...:) She gave me a look of confusion and asked why. I told her that some people are cremated meaning that their body is burned and their ashes are put in an urn. She looked at me and said "How does his body fit in there, it is so small!". She also said that she does NOT want to be burned and she doesn't want her body put in that vase!
I was not prepared to tell her about cremation so I did the best on could on the fly! She later told my mom that Grandpa was creamed!
She does understand that he is in Heaven with Jesus though!

After the funeral we wanted to find a place for the kids to expend some energy so we drove to Manistee and took them by Lake Michigan. They walked in the sand and went down a huge slide! I didn't think they had those around anymore for safety reasons, but they all had fun anyway! It was a beautiful day!

We later went to the House of Flavors for dinner and had a great time unwinding and talking with family. The kids were amazing all day. Very obedient and pleasant. It took us about 3 hours to get home only because Caleb was having a hard time going to sleep and he cried on and off from about 8:30 - 11:30! He was over-tired and sick of his car seat! We had to stop a few times to either feed him or give his legs a stretch.
All in all it was a great day! If you want a more hilarious view of the day, check out Shawn's blog!

4 months old = rice cereal and teeth!

As Caleb gets older I am continually reminded that boys are easier than girls! He is such a content little guy. Always smiling and hanging out. He reminds me to slow down and just enjoy the simple things in life. He is just so darn cute! He loves baths and just looking at people. He is trying to reach for things and tries to chew on everything including his hands.

This past Friday I decided it was time for him to try some rice cereal. He doesn't really "need" it right now to help him sleep because he sleeps about 11 hours at night! I am blessed I know! But he does need to start learning how to eat. He knew exactly what to do! He was even grabbing for my hand and pulling the spoon to his mouth! He took a few bites and then made a look like it was completely disgusting!
We also noticed the reason why he has been chewing on everything.....2 teeth! Both girls had teeth around 3 or 4 months so I was somewhat expecting it! I'm glad they both came in at the same time though!























The girls had to help of course! I think they ended up choking him more than actually getting cereal in his mouth!

WCSG Father/Daugher Banquet

This past Thursday all of us girls went with my dad to the WCSG Father/Daughter Banquet. It was actually his birthday gift this year!
It was a lot of fun to get dressed up, eat a nice meal, and enjoy some good music together.
Caleb had to tag along since he still won't take a bottle but he did great!
Jimmy Needham provided the music and it was really good. I had only heard a few songs by him so I didn't know much about him. His songs are very thoughtful and deep. I really like his style. I'm looking forward to Shawn taking the girls next year. It was really sweet to see all the dad's with their daughters. I think that is one of the most important relationships on this side of Heaven. It is just a glimpse at how much our Heavenly Father loves us. God wants to have that hand holding, personal, dancing together type relationship! I am learning more how to have that as I continue in my walk with Him!

Candlelight Dinner at 6 pm!

Shawn and I had a rare occurrence tonight! We were able to have a candlelight dinner while the kids were home! Let me just share the story...

As I was preparing dinner the girls were playing Candyland. I told them that they needed to pick the game up and put it away before dinner or they would not eat with us. It was like I was speaking German or something because the request went in one ear and out the other. (this happens a lot!) Anyway...I continued to make dinner without reminding them 1500 times to pick the game up. I honestly was surprised that I had enough self-control to do that. Only the Holy Spirit baby! Their current way to play is to pretend they are cats. They crawl around on the floor and make the most annoying meow sound. This is another reason I will NEVER get a cat.

I made some REALLY good Ciabatta sandwiches for Shawn and I as well as some Tortilla Soup. When it was ready, we told the girls to go sit on their beds. Still oblivious to the consequence, they went to their beds. We sat down to candlelight, our yummy food, and jazz music in the background. The girls continued to act likes cats and be silly. It took about 5 minutes for Adrianna to realize what was happening and she asked "Can we eat with you guys?".
This may sound harsh but we ignored them and even shut their door. It was nice to get that brief reprieve of romance in our busy day!
After we were finished we went in and we asked the girls why they didn't get to eat with us. Adrianna immediately said "Because we didn't clean up the game". So they do hear, and they do know! We had them eat separately and told them we were very sad that they didn't get to eat with us. So next time they should choose to obey the first time. (Oh yeah, and they still had to clean up the game)

It was so great to have no stress, no frustration in discipline. It doesn't happen all the time, but for this once it was awesome!



So now, every time I tell Eliza to do something or that she can't do something...she will look at me and say " I'm frustrated!". Yeah me too honey..:)

Fun Dip Tongues

My New Trick :)

Always asking....again and again and again

My kids are constantly asking for things. Can anyone else feel my frustration?
I ask myself if I have conditioned them to do this. I don't give them things all the time, and I don't buy them things all the time. Is this a normal kid behavior?
For instance, EVERY time we get in the car they ask for a mint or a piece of gum. EVERY time I walk through the kitchen, they ask for a drink or a snack. Sometimes they are truly hungry, other times it is just habit. It doesn't help that our kitchen is the main traffic area in our house! I don't know what to do! I really try not to get frustrated and snap back that if they ask me one more time I'm going to throw all the gum, mints, candy, and other kid snacks in the TRASH CAN!

We are trying to teach them to have thankful hearts and not always ask for more. It's almost like it's a routine. Like every time we go see Miss Ellen at church they have to have a sucker. She has always given them one and now they think it has to happen. I keep trying to tell them to just go and say hi and make her feel like they want to see her, not just get the sucker.

Adrianna always has to have 2 of everything. If we give her one cookie, she is not satisfied until she has had 2. That goes with anything. She never asks for 3, it is always 2!

Any suggestions?
Our church is doing a campaign leading up to Easter to have no complaining. Hmmmm...I hope this blog does not sound like a big complaint...just a frustrated mom trying to find answers!

Living life

Not much has been going on in the Gurk house lately! We are all pretty healthy except for a few minor colds which is a huge praise! We are just living life and trying to figure each other out.
I just finished a Beth Moore led Bible study on the Tabernacle and I have learned so much! I am going to start other one on the Psalms of Ascent. I have really been growing in my relationship with Christ and it has come through many facets. I took a class at church on spiritual gifts and I am in the process of determining where I fit to serve in church. It is very exciting! I am still formulating my thoughts on that so I'll share when I can clearly convey them.
I am getting somewhat used to living life with 3 kids and they constantly cause me to evaluate my heart. I am learning so much! I really am trying to be content in everything and it is the best place to be! It is quite freeing!

Enjoy these sweet pictures of my little inspirations!



Caleb has recently been able to hold a few toys and try and get them in his mouth. He loves the Bumbo chair! Thanks to Elizabeth for letting us borrow it! He is doing great with holding his head up and loves to look around.








Mmmm...success!








Eliza cracks me up! She is always doing something silly or telling a silly story. She was playing dress-up this morning and had the hat on backwards!
Her new story:
"Mommy?, I jumped in the pool and splashed. There was a crocodile in there and I spit at him. I hurt my toe."






Adrianna joined in the fun with the dress up!
(I think this hat belongs to Nichole..I need to get that back to her!)