A Journey of Discovery

The weekend messages at KCC continually challenge me to keep growing in my relationship with Christ. I love how God has been speaking to me through many different ways.
I guess this journey started back when I took the SHAPE class at KCC. This class is designed to help you find your spiritual gifts and help you figure out what your passion is. Then you can be led towards a ministry that would fit how God designed you. After taking the class I did not have a ministry clearly layed out to me. I guess I was kind of hoping for that! I did learn that my top 3 spiritual gifts are Administration, Mercy, and Discernment. A few ministry opportunities were suggested to me but those doors kept getting closed.
I took a step back for a while even though throughout that time of rest I was pondering and seeking where God wanted to use me.
I had been involved in the Worship Arts Team for a few years but I had taken some time off from it after I had Caleb. I began evaluating if I should be involved in that. I had a lot of unsettling in my spirit, but I could not pinpoint what it was exactly. Part of the SHAPE class taught that the things you are involved with should bring you excitement. You should have a godly passion for them and they should make you happy. If not, then maybe you should try and find another ministry. I also was feeling frustrated that I could not find that peace about what exactly I should be doing as far as serving in the church.

I have been growing daily in my walk with Christ. He has been molding me, teaching me, and showing me so many things! He has used music, other people, my quiet times, my kids, and pretty much everything else in my life to begin leading me where He wants me.
This brings me to the message on Sunday. The question that was asked is "Is God Boxing you In?". Well, yes He is! He is shutting doors and opening others and clearly pointing a great big arrow in the direction I should go. I love when God does that! The passage we were studying was Acts 16:6-10. Paul was being led by the Holy Spirit by God telling him no. Paul tried to go one way and God shut that door. He tried to go another way and God shut that door also. Pretty soon he was boxed in so much he just had to go to Macedonia! Sometimes when we are boxed in, it is to lead us, not to limit us. Sometimes God has to make it ABUNDANTLY clear where he wants us so we will go that way. We have to be in tune to His universal will before He can show us His unique will. Paul didn't even ask questions. He went at once!
It is also possible that the "why" of where God is leading may not be immediately apparent. We just have to be willing to do "at once" what God wants us to do.
This leads me to where God is taking me right now. It is to a place I NEVER thought I would be! Notice how Leadership did not rank very high on my Spiritual gifts survey, and being an extrovert are not how God designed me! But that is exactly where I am going. Maybe not to lead over a bunch of people, but to lead with the gifts He has given me. And maybe contribute to others who He has called to lead.
I am finding that I have a passion for community. I never thought little old introverted me would say that! It excites me! I think about it constantly. It amazes me when I think back on my growing up years how much of the wall flower I was. I was the one standing in the corner at Band dances PRAYING that no one would ask me to dance. Maybe that's why I never had any dates!
Anyway, I was scared to death of communicating with people. I was so insecure about who God made me to be that I hid behind my fear. I always thought I had nothing profound or intelligent to contribute to other people's conversations. I am still breaking free from that! I never thought then that God would someday use my experience of trying to fit in, of trying to be accepted to help me realize how He designed me. Not to hide behind my insecurities, but to rise above it and allow God to use me despite myself. I think we sometimes have to go through those painful experiences so we can have a clearer picture of how we can best serve when we find the ministry that fits us.
So I'm taking some leaps of faith lately. I am SO EXCITED to see how God will show me the "why" of the things He is leading me to. I am excited to see God show me the next step in my journey. I am going to try not to stand in His way!