I am having treatment this Wednesday and then be in isolation for a week. I will not be able to go near a computer so I'll talk to all of you faithful blog readers when I get back!
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Update and Treatment
I had my blood test yesterday and I am somewhat excited to share the news that my thyroid levels were already at 46! My endo said that they needed to be at 50 before treatment so I am scheduled for Wednesday at 9am for the RAI. Usually it takes 3-4 weeks after stopping medication before they reach around 50 and it has been 3. I AM happy that this doesn't have to drag out a few more weeks. One of the things that does make me sad is that our 10th Anniversary is next Thursday. NOT how I imagined spending it...away from my love. We plan to celebrate afterwards of course, but it's still the "day" that we are missing together. :(
I am planning on staying at my mom's house because I have to be totally isolated from everyone. It is 3-5 days from adults and 7-10 days from the kids. There are so many variables to consider!
No computers or microwaves. No touching anyone and limited touching of other things. I have to keep my own trash and then not throw it away for another 7 days so I don't contaminate the entire city of garbage! I started a special diet about 1 1/2 weeks ago which involves eating no processed food, no food with salt or iodine in it, only 6 oz. of meat a day, no sugar, and nothing artificial. My mom has been making me some things so that has helped! I have to continue on the diet through the treatment. Basically, because this treatment has iodine, when there is no other iodine in my body, it can more easily attack the cancer and get rid of it.
I have to take a few showers a day as well as flush at least 2x!
It is a blessing that my parents have a lower level in their house that has a bedroom and bathroom. I will be isolated in there for at least 3 days. I then can have limited contact with other adults while still staying 3 feet from them. Shawn is able to take off work so that is a blessing also.
A week after I have the RAI dose, I will have a full body scan. This will show if there is any other cancer in my body. Then it will be monthly blood tests to get everything else regulated.
Please continue to pray for this next step in our journey.
1. That Shawn and I will not focus on the fact that we can't be together on our actual day, but look forward to celebrating afterwards. Carrabba's here we come!
2. The the kids will understand why I have to go away that long and be sweet little angels for their daddy!:)
3. That Shawn would get better from this nasty cold he has right now, BEFORE the treatment.
4. That my parents would have extra blessing heaped upon them for taking me in for a week and allowing me to disrupt their lives! again...:)
5. That each day would be restful in God's arms and we would not be anxious about the next day.
6. That these blasted migraine headaches would stop RIGHT NOW! :)
Thanks everyone!
I am planning on staying at my mom's house because I have to be totally isolated from everyone. It is 3-5 days from adults and 7-10 days from the kids. There are so many variables to consider!
No computers or microwaves. No touching anyone and limited touching of other things. I have to keep my own trash and then not throw it away for another 7 days so I don't contaminate the entire city of garbage! I started a special diet about 1 1/2 weeks ago which involves eating no processed food, no food with salt or iodine in it, only 6 oz. of meat a day, no sugar, and nothing artificial. My mom has been making me some things so that has helped! I have to continue on the diet through the treatment. Basically, because this treatment has iodine, when there is no other iodine in my body, it can more easily attack the cancer and get rid of it.
I have to take a few showers a day as well as flush at least 2x!
It is a blessing that my parents have a lower level in their house that has a bedroom and bathroom. I will be isolated in there for at least 3 days. I then can have limited contact with other adults while still staying 3 feet from them. Shawn is able to take off work so that is a blessing also.
A week after I have the RAI dose, I will have a full body scan. This will show if there is any other cancer in my body. Then it will be monthly blood tests to get everything else regulated.
Please continue to pray for this next step in our journey.
1. That Shawn and I will not focus on the fact that we can't be together on our actual day, but look forward to celebrating afterwards. Carrabba's here we come!
2. The the kids will understand why I have to go away that long and be sweet little angels for their daddy!:)
3. That Shawn would get better from this nasty cold he has right now, BEFORE the treatment.
4. That my parents would have extra blessing heaped upon them for taking me in for a week and allowing me to disrupt their lives! again...:)
5. That each day would be restful in God's arms and we would not be anxious about the next day.
6. That these blasted migraine headaches would stop RIGHT NOW! :)
Thanks everyone!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
A BIG, HUGE, humble Thank you!
I was reminded this past Sunday as we were singing the song "Amazed" how much God really loves me. I was struggling with that honestly. I KNOW He does, but I wasn't feeling it. I went up to the steps at the front of our church to pray. To ask God to flood me with His love. The words of the song say that God dances over us when we are unaware. We might never hear the sound but He is most definitely there. Can you just see Him hovering over us! Sometimes I just sit in complete numbness and wait.(That is the word God is giving to me lately!) I don't feel anything. I just have to know. I have to choose to believe. I have to trust in His unfailing promises. He does amaze me in so many ways. I just have to open my eyes to see. Like my cherry blossom tree blooming for the first time this year as I was sitting in my chair recovering after the first few weeks of surgery. Like my son walking by himself for the 1st time during my recovery. Like experiencing the deep love and commitment of friends and family. Like having my precious daughters wake up in the middle of the night and say "I love you mommy, more than the stars!".
Somehow just saying "Thanks" doesn't seem like quite enough to all who have helped us in the past few weeks! I think the biggest thing is the prayer cover we have experienced. I have never felt or realized for myself the tangible power of prayer in such a mighty way. We have had so many people tell us they are praying. We have received many cards, e-mails, and messages on facebook telling us we are being prayed for. I love getting those! I realized the other day how this covering of prayer has kept me out of some very deep pits that I could have fallen into. When I could not pray for myself, when I didn't know how to pray, I had the mighty praying warriors of God doing that. What a humbling revelation! So I say thank you. Keep praying!
We have also received so many meals that were a TREMENDOUS help to us. We were so blessed by how much love and time people put into the meals they brought. It was such a huge burden lifted off of us. Thank you!
It has also been so helpful to have my best friend, and my family help with keeping my house clean and the laundry done. It is amazing how much energy this requires and I just don't have it right now!
Another big help has been with taking Adrianna to and from school. Wow...I am so grateful for this. It is quite a feat for me to get all 3 kids in the car 2x per day! I have also appreciated the many times people have just picked up the kids for the afternoon or taken them over night. I am still trying to figure out what to put my energy into since I have a limited amount each day!
To my dear husband of 10 years!: Part of me is so sorry that you have to sacrifice so many things because of this. I know you so willingly do it without complaint. I am daily blessed by your serving heart and your desire to provide for us in so many ways. Thank you for loving me despite this and being by my side.
If I missed someone, please know that whatever ways you show us love, it is so appreciated. This has been a growing area for me since it is hard for me to accept help. Especially when this journey is so long. I have been so encouraged to see God's people surround us and love on us. I don't think we have experienced it to this magnitude before. You are honoring God through your love to us and I am so grateful.
Continued prayer.....
Becky: I am getting used to a new normal. I feel completely exhausted most of the time where I can't even move my legs or arms sometimes! I have frequent migraine type headaches and sometimes complete numbness of my arms and fingers. It is sometimes hard to accept this even though it is only for a short time in the big scheme of things. I just need to rest in the Lord and wait. My surgical site is healing on the outside very well. It just gets sore if I do too much or move too much a certain way. Pray for continued healing. I have my 1st blood test this coming Thursday and I am REALLY praying that my thyroid levels are where they need to be right now so that I can have the radiation next week! The only downside is that the 27th is our 10th Anniversary! Please pray that the level is were it needs to be on Thursday. Also pray that I would remain positive and joyful for our kids. I want to focus on what I can do with them, not on what I can't do. They need to know and see the healing hand of God and I want to believe that too!
Shawn: That his offering to God would be pleasing and the best he can give. That he would finish out these last few weeks of school with wisdom and a good attitude. And that he would be a patient daddy and husband. (This is his request!)
Adrianna: She is doing better with all that is happening right now. I think she really internalized everything and some of what she was feeling was coming out in little comments here and there. She seems more calm and secure about it and I want to continue to reassure her.
Eliza: She is entering the whiny "PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME" phase! It is very draining sometimes and I really want to be consistent and love her through this at her level.
Caleb: He is just a delight to me right now and I want to keep that atmosphere in our home.
Continuing on the journey......
Somehow just saying "Thanks" doesn't seem like quite enough to all who have helped us in the past few weeks! I think the biggest thing is the prayer cover we have experienced. I have never felt or realized for myself the tangible power of prayer in such a mighty way. We have had so many people tell us they are praying. We have received many cards, e-mails, and messages on facebook telling us we are being prayed for. I love getting those! I realized the other day how this covering of prayer has kept me out of some very deep pits that I could have fallen into. When I could not pray for myself, when I didn't know how to pray, I had the mighty praying warriors of God doing that. What a humbling revelation! So I say thank you. Keep praying!
We have also received so many meals that were a TREMENDOUS help to us. We were so blessed by how much love and time people put into the meals they brought. It was such a huge burden lifted off of us. Thank you!
It has also been so helpful to have my best friend, and my family help with keeping my house clean and the laundry done. It is amazing how much energy this requires and I just don't have it right now!
Another big help has been with taking Adrianna to and from school. Wow...I am so grateful for this. It is quite a feat for me to get all 3 kids in the car 2x per day! I have also appreciated the many times people have just picked up the kids for the afternoon or taken them over night. I am still trying to figure out what to put my energy into since I have a limited amount each day!
To my dear husband of 10 years!: Part of me is so sorry that you have to sacrifice so many things because of this. I know you so willingly do it without complaint. I am daily blessed by your serving heart and your desire to provide for us in so many ways. Thank you for loving me despite this and being by my side.
If I missed someone, please know that whatever ways you show us love, it is so appreciated. This has been a growing area for me since it is hard for me to accept help. Especially when this journey is so long. I have been so encouraged to see God's people surround us and love on us. I don't think we have experienced it to this magnitude before. You are honoring God through your love to us and I am so grateful.
Continued prayer.....
Becky: I am getting used to a new normal. I feel completely exhausted most of the time where I can't even move my legs or arms sometimes! I have frequent migraine type headaches and sometimes complete numbness of my arms and fingers. It is sometimes hard to accept this even though it is only for a short time in the big scheme of things. I just need to rest in the Lord and wait. My surgical site is healing on the outside very well. It just gets sore if I do too much or move too much a certain way. Pray for continued healing. I have my 1st blood test this coming Thursday and I am REALLY praying that my thyroid levels are where they need to be right now so that I can have the radiation next week! The only downside is that the 27th is our 10th Anniversary! Please pray that the level is were it needs to be on Thursday. Also pray that I would remain positive and joyful for our kids. I want to focus on what I can do with them, not on what I can't do. They need to know and see the healing hand of God and I want to believe that too!
Shawn: That his offering to God would be pleasing and the best he can give. That he would finish out these last few weeks of school with wisdom and a good attitude. And that he would be a patient daddy and husband. (This is his request!)
Adrianna: She is doing better with all that is happening right now. I think she really internalized everything and some of what she was feeling was coming out in little comments here and there. She seems more calm and secure about it and I want to continue to reassure her.
Eliza: She is entering the whiny "PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME" phase! It is very draining sometimes and I really want to be consistent and love her through this at her level.
Caleb: He is just a delight to me right now and I want to keep that atmosphere in our home.
Continuing on the journey......
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!
This is a devotional I just received in my email from Proverbs 31 Ministries.
I thought it was appropriate as we think about celebrating Mother's Day tomorrow!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's who read this blog. Know that you were given this sacred task of raising your children to love God with all their heart by a great God who pursues you every day! You are beautiful and needed and loved more than you know!
The Dailyness
7 May 2010
Ariel Allison Lawhon, She Reads Co-Director
"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway." Proverbs 8:34 (NIV)
"Life wouldn't be so hard if it wasn't so daily. As I sit here surrounded by laundry and dishes piled high in the sink, I see more than ever how life wears us down one day at a time.
Crumbs litter the floor and dirty smudges cover the windows. And I have yet to discover where that smell is coming from. For this mother of four, a simple trip to the grocery store requires an act of God and Congress – attempted only when we are down to powdered milk and Ramen noodles. Not thirty minutes ago a little one-year-old boy clung to my legs, belting out that scream - you know the one, bats can hear it. And I felt my co ping skills slipping away. Not because he was crying but because he cries every day.
The daily-ness.
The job of motherhood feels so vast, and frightening, and unending. I am called to raise these children in the fear and admonition of the Lord and yet there are days that I can't seem to get out of my pajamas much less lead them in a time of prayer. I think anyone could endure the temper tantrums of a small child or the rebellion of a teenager or the constant needs of another if they lasted just one day. But the truth is that these things are the stuff of daily life. And when I am honest with myself, they grind down the rough edges of this woman. Because parenting can not be all about me when diapers must be changed, noses wiped and beds made.
In those moments I force myself to take a deep breath and thank God for this season of life. These children. The privilege of wiping noses and bottoms and countertops. A privilege many women wou ld love to have, but don't. I remind myself that the days are long but the years are short. And one day I will look in the rear-view mirror and see empty seats. The cup that is overflowing right now will slowly drain. The stretch marks will fade. And I will find that a new set of daily struggles has overtaken me. When that day comes I will find the strength to face them as well because God gives the grace, daily.
The daily-ness.
As C.S. Lewis once said, "The thing is to rely on God... Meanwhile, the trouble is that relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing has yet been done."
Your daily-ness is probably different than mine, but it is nonetheless God-ordained. It is exactly what we need to live dependent on His grace instead of our own strength. The One who knows us best, who knit us together in our mother's womb, has allotted these days that are equal parts trial and triumph. And He knows that we will see Him most clearl y from a place of dependence.
So today I embrace the normal things. The daily things. Another round of laundry. The ring in my toilet. The dust on my dresser so thick a child could write his name. But even more than that I want to celebrate the important things. A child slowly learning to read. A husband that finds his comfort in my arms. A baby who learns to walk and talk. Because all these are the things of life: some mundane and some holy. And all of them must be received daily."
"Dear Lord, sometimes daily life is just hard. And we're tired. And overwhelmed. But You promised to be our strength and our hope and our comfort. So today we look to You for what we need. Would You meet us in this, our daily-ness, and help us receive Your grace? In Jesus' Name, Amen."
I thought it was appropriate as we think about celebrating Mother's Day tomorrow!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's who read this blog. Know that you were given this sacred task of raising your children to love God with all their heart by a great God who pursues you every day! You are beautiful and needed and loved more than you know!
The Dailyness
7 May 2010
Ariel Allison Lawhon, She Reads Co-Director
"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway." Proverbs 8:34 (NIV)
"Life wouldn't be so hard if it wasn't so daily. As I sit here surrounded by laundry and dishes piled high in the sink, I see more than ever how life wears us down one day at a time.
Crumbs litter the floor and dirty smudges cover the windows. And I have yet to discover where that smell is coming from. For this mother of four, a simple trip to the grocery store requires an act of God and Congress – attempted only when we are down to powdered milk and Ramen noodles. Not thirty minutes ago a little one-year-old boy clung to my legs, belting out that scream - you know the one, bats can hear it. And I felt my co ping skills slipping away. Not because he was crying but because he cries every day.
The daily-ness.
The job of motherhood feels so vast, and frightening, and unending. I am called to raise these children in the fear and admonition of the Lord and yet there are days that I can't seem to get out of my pajamas much less lead them in a time of prayer. I think anyone could endure the temper tantrums of a small child or the rebellion of a teenager or the constant needs of another if they lasted just one day. But the truth is that these things are the stuff of daily life. And when I am honest with myself, they grind down the rough edges of this woman. Because parenting can not be all about me when diapers must be changed, noses wiped and beds made.
In those moments I force myself to take a deep breath and thank God for this season of life. These children. The privilege of wiping noses and bottoms and countertops. A privilege many women wou ld love to have, but don't. I remind myself that the days are long but the years are short. And one day I will look in the rear-view mirror and see empty seats. The cup that is overflowing right now will slowly drain. The stretch marks will fade. And I will find that a new set of daily struggles has overtaken me. When that day comes I will find the strength to face them as well because God gives the grace, daily.
The daily-ness.
As C.S. Lewis once said, "The thing is to rely on God... Meanwhile, the trouble is that relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing has yet been done."
Your daily-ness is probably different than mine, but it is nonetheless God-ordained. It is exactly what we need to live dependent on His grace instead of our own strength. The One who knows us best, who knit us together in our mother's womb, has allotted these days that are equal parts trial and triumph. And He knows that we will see Him most clearl y from a place of dependence.
So today I embrace the normal things. The daily things. Another round of laundry. The ring in my toilet. The dust on my dresser so thick a child could write his name. But even more than that I want to celebrate the important things. A child slowly learning to read. A husband that finds his comfort in my arms. A baby who learns to walk and talk. Because all these are the things of life: some mundane and some holy. And all of them must be received daily."
"Dear Lord, sometimes daily life is just hard. And we're tired. And overwhelmed. But You promised to be our strength and our hope and our comfort. So today we look to You for what we need. Would You meet us in this, our daily-ness, and help us receive Your grace? In Jesus' Name, Amen."
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